The Manali Edition — The Guide

I went around to Manali and Shimla with my family at the end of last year in dec.

Lots of thoughts about the trip. I did make some notes, this should be fun.

Since I plan to write this out in parts, let’s start with the guide+driver+ a cool guy who brought us lot of charas.

His name is Amar.

Amar works for some car owner guy in Delhi and my brother booked him for the Delhi to Manali drive and then the driving around in Manali itself. We had a hotel booking in the Vashist area. He picked us up at the delhi airport. The first look of him scared me, or let’s didn’t generate a lot of trust, it’s I think my natural paranoia of trusting people, least of bit drivers. It was a little hard to ascertain his muslim/hindu look from the face. His hair was medium length, not combed and hence all stayed in the downward direction and he spoke hindi with the delhi punjabi accent style.

As I got to know him he really became one of the highlights of the trip. On the delhi to manali overnight trip, on a break stop for some non veg amar offered me and brother his favourite of substances—charas. My brother actually had asked him for it before. He had became of an acquaintance with the guy by now. I had became more of a weed fan by now since I did not appreciate the cigarette mixing required with the charas. But what the hell, we smoke it up. My paranoia was still around by that time around 11PM. I had thoughts of what if he tries to rob us and here the only two men of fighting age are getting stone with him. Insanity.

Later in Manali this became a good ritual for nights at 10PM. Me, my elder brother and his wife would convene with Amar in the hotel open restaurant and light up. The view was splendid, but not visible because of the dark. The ambience was amazing, shivering cold and silent, with the mountains to our side and with dim orange lanterns above our heads, just enough light for amar to roll his professional slim but broad-at-the-end joints.

This open restaurant wasn’t a terrace but a long horizontal balcony connecting to the dinner area and the kitchen. There was a pool table outside the kitchen.

Charas was so acceptable here. Straight away it was on display how any kind of govt bans are just useless, no one gives a fuck about them when the culture has alread approved of the banned entity. People everywhere here smoked up all the time. And some were definitely shocked to see the lady with us smoking it up. Obviously the cold harsh reality of life here didn’t allow for feminism’s silly tantrums like they play out in our cities with modern technology around men who have fries and coke for dinner.

Amar had amazing viewpoints for someone who makes around 8k rupees or $120 monthly. Adding tips to that he said his final salary comes to 15-20k which is around $225. He sends some of it to his home in some village which in UP. Says he left the family home as a child and rarely visits. He has a philosophy of staying away from home so that he doesn’t get too attached, then maybe he won’t be able to leave and continue his work. And the little he has to offer them is from his work.

I couldn’t figure out if he enjoyed the work. He is always on the road, traveling between states on national highways or else taking people around locally at some tourist spot. From his finances his condition was obviously bad, he said he couldn’t save much. By the end of whole trip, after our last dinner when amar joined us at the table, the only time he did, in a quiet moment with my brother he shared something which really broke me inside when I later heard about it once we were back in mumbai.

Amar would always make excuses that he’s already eaten whenever we would offer him to join us for lunch or dinner. I took his word for it and never pestered him. I explained it away that he feels awkward probably because my parents are along that time. Then my brother told me once home that amar just tries to have only a single meal a day to save some money. This was after we just had blew over 1000 rupees or $20 at dinner that evening. My brother thought he probably came to terms with the extent of his poverty and felt like sharing this fact of his life.

I wasn’t yet able to wrap my head around the fact that he makes only 8k as official salary for the huge hours of driving on those dangerous roads. And on nights sans sleep. Uber drivers make a decent 40000 rupees by just driving 10-12 hours in the cities these days. This new detail of his life was really a lot and hit me hard inside.

This was a life of suffering. There was no doubt. He had alread decided on not getting married given his bleak financial condition. That was some really smart thinking and insight. There are just too of men in this country married too young with no financial prospects and struggling everyday with the weight of a wife and mostly a child just for some vague societal compulsion of being married by a certain age.

I previously mentioned about him having a really good worldview. His views on politics impressed me too. I took him for sort of a modi fan given his background of hanging around with hindu gurus and babas during his travels to the temples and the gurus there and such. Far from it. His views in fact matched with bill burr’s answer on the recent trump election. He told me straight out “doesn’t matter who is in power, it is you who puts the bread on your table”. While things are definitely more complex than that, too many liberals do not seem to understand the simple fact. That it’s YOU who in the end does things, not the govt or the politicians.

I think it’s just the long hours at the stearing wheel on single meal a day that does this to a man. It makes you confront reality in a way most liberals just don’t have to while they are out there with their mac books and coffee bumming off the free (probably) unsecure WIFI connection at most phoniest of outlests—starbucks.

Even as I write in the comforts of my middle class indian household bitching about the very uncomfortable chair I am sitting in, that guy is probably out there on some national highway negotiating dangerous fucking turns with a steep valley on the side and no barricades. He probably complaints too, it’s just that there’s no one to listen to it. And in all probablity he will never ever have anyone either.

Let’s talk fuckin Money

You don’t a lot need it. But it’s good to have as much as you can of it.

Money is about Men. Let’s start with that. Yeah there probably are 10% high testosterone ambitious empow wiimmeen who want to money as much as Men do but fuck em`, lol, they’re an exception and not the rule, and the rule is most of the chicks know in the subconscious hindbrain of theirs that they’ll surely get a high income Man (who they most probably won’t be deserving of) but nontheless they are sure to get him and have that cosy life their mothers brought them up with or fathers if you get one of the “daddy’s princess” psychos.

Now that we got that out of the way. We already saw in the above para an example of “money is about men”. But I don’t like that context. Bluepill societal dictat that Men ought to have money and be successful to take care of the fat sluts coming out of their party years at 28. I’d rather have that Men save up every last penny for their financial security, for their parents and family instead of let an ex cock rider buy shoes with it. And of course whore around and snort coke of their ass cracks every now and then. At the end they’ll probably find an unicorn to put the proverbial “ring on it”(seems unlikely though).

While money is extremely important I want to find some context to that.

How much does a Man need?

Anyone with above average intelligence and work ethic can make a decent house, car, clothes come true for himself in today. Say thanks to the gods of capitalism. You can always better those things to always keep upgrading, sure, but to what fucking extent? Do you really need to go from a 3GB  RAM phone to 6GB one? Fuck NO! Dumb cunts who do not even know what RAM is do that. You wanting that is just the feminine culture getting to you. Indulging in mindless materialism just to fit the ideological poster child of being empowered and ambitious is what the femcunt narcisstic KULTURE is all about.

I want to bring your attention to something bigger. The thing which will wipe all that you own if you mess it up, your real #1 asset — HEALTH.

Ask me I am looking at an 400000 rupee surgery for my face because I’m suffering from Trigeminal Neuralgia aka the suicide disease. And this probably for no fault of my own, the dentist fucked it up during the RC, so that should give you a pretty fucking good idea on how a single blow to you fragile frame of flesh and bones can put you up by a decade.

I’ve always questioned what most Men plan to do with their fortunes and I guess they don’t have a clue themselves. Personally the only answers I have come with is books, clothes, some travel, some good times at the expensive clubs and I’d rate the most books a priority on that list. After that with what’s left I would factor donating to blogs and the alternative media which puts out the right ideas which can save us from the liberal BS out there in the mainstream today.

But what after that? And I think they have the answer in the subconscious which they can’t reach. They are just saving for a major blow to their fucking liver or the heart. In Games People Play psychologist Eric Berne explains about his theories of a “life script”. About how we all have decided an answer to the question “what happens to a person like me?” while we were 4 years old. Of course we don’t the answer any more than we know the script but it’s part of our daily functioning.

And sadly for most men today the answer seems to be that “a guy like me works to death in a job he hates, married to a wife he probably hates, with kids who hate him and think of him as no more than a walking wallet. To put this out of my mind I come home, drink to death infront of the TV and never having seen the inside of a gym I go out like a sick fat dog with liver or heart poisoning.” That’ll will cost you some fucking money. That is an expensive fucking script to have.

That answers what most most men will do with all the wealth they so desperately make, they will it lose it at the hospital to extend a life not worth living.

ILL HEALTH IS THE BIGGEST DRAIN ON ALL YOUR HARD EARNED MONEY.

The Myth of the Indian IT Supremacy

Indians are not techy at all.

They suck at it. I am working in tech for closer to 2 years now and all I see is few guys are really into it and the rest..not so much. In fact the reason we have a huge population in IT appears to be an outcome of the Indian culture of anxiety, shyness and shame. The country seems to be doing well in tech or the IT field only because a lot of non-tech techies are riding on the backs of the few tech techies.

The Anxiety Connection

The education systems has no focus on the soft skills of the child, and doesn’t focus on reading skills and by extension English either. Neither are students given any self-study assignments where they can apply themselves and come up with any output. It’s literally another brick in the wall all the way here.

The result is at the crossroads of choosing a career somewhere when most Indians are 16-17, the natural inclination is towards stuff where “you sit and work silently” without having to express yourself or "make a fool of yourself" (as their upbringing has thought them) in any form or way. 

Add to this a huge number of vernacular language students who by the time they hit adulthood have really high amounts of anxiety about using English, and shame for not being good at it. When these apply for jobs you have to ask yourself whether the application is for JAVA programming or MTV roadies.

The prolonged abstaining from the English language takes away the self-confidence of most by early adulthood when they find themselves unable to respond in fluent english to their NRI relatives on the phone and realize what soft skills mean and then understandably sales/marketing etc. seem like a bad idea. Staring at a computer AND getting paid for it? Not so much, multiply this by the societal collective thought pattern of that instant and media's reports about INFOSYS and TCS and it looks like damn IT pays well too, boom.

Then on the job

We covered how education isn’t really big on reading. By the time the IT boys have turned men(seniors), reading blogs and documentation is a nuisance to them at best and a waste of time otherwise. In fact most of them make fun of you for not already knowing what you are now trying to learn by reading about it(if this doesn't make sense now, wait till it happens to you, you'll know then).

The amount of agony someone like me must go through because my cybersecurity team members around me don’t really believe in documentation, blogs or googling for the most part. When your backs are against the wall(or you have ransomware on your network), even the usually blind do a lil reading of google… or not even then.

These pseudo techies first call the managed services provider(MSP)/consultants to fix even the slightest problem on their security gear, they think of them(MSPs) as experts but remember, think back to the time when everyone was choosing a career, the managed services techies are from that lot too, and they too decided sales wasn’t all that cracked up, the rest is history. 

These MSP guys then open support tickets with the OEM TAC the Symantecs, Ciscos, Intels. I think of this as the circle closing, we’re back to western civilization for the answers, HAHA.

Indians are as good at tech as the western tech support they rely on.

And the conversation they have the with european fella from the TAC is total fucking cringeworthy. Reeks of fear, anxiety, shame and probably slight regret of not knowing to frame proper english sentences. 

I am not a snob about English, I am proud of modi’s broken “may the phorce bee bith you”, that guy’s only got to sound nice and make people like him when he’s out and most already do, because a good 70% of people on the planet are all feels anyway, so an old man from a poor third-world country talking about unity, peace, progress, well everybody loves that, fuck his English language skills. 

More so when he visits America, the Americans feel so guilty about their wealth, power and status in the world they go extra hard at sucking a poor country's PM's dick with multiple standing ovations for throwing age old platitudes at them for hours.

But you my friends and those I spend 10 hours/day with, you got to sit and read Symantec’s documentation and be able to explain the issue to them and to stack-exchange when the time comes. Nobody loves you by default like they love modi, you see. You got to bring fucking value to the table and clear, concise communication is the start of it.

A note about the TAC calls, a few weeks back I witnessed my CISO trying to browbeat a TAC guy into providing immediate virus definitions and even threatened to speak to their CEO. It doesn’t stop there, pretty close to that are my senior colleagues having a conversation about how powerful the W97M.Downloader virus was to be able to pass through the email gateway and antivirus, totally absolving themselves all responsibility about running their network much like the indian government runs low income localities in India’s cities.

Ransomware compromised some of our systems and it was only because our security sucked. Period. Plain and simple.

The Loyalty and Age Connection

Eli the Computer Guy from YouTube and many others always remind us how success in the IT field is seldom related to the technical talents one possesses. Just like getting laid has so less to do with looks? I digress. Most senior IT personnel in India, positions like CISO, IT-Head etc. go to those who have been around for a looongg time with the company.

Indians have this notion of "age and experience matters" in all aspects of life, I have covered that in automatic respect before. The basic belief is that with age comes some sort of magical wisdom about life(and probably business and technology in this case) which no matter how smart/brilliant/passionate a younger person simply lacks and cannot attain.

And hence never given a chance to prove himself, that should answer why our politicians are mostly old men who seem like one good masturbation session away from their fucking grave. 

These old men have egos bigger and harder than their cocks too at their stage in life, any move or suggestion by a younger person to do things in a better way is an immediate threat to their livelihood and a question on their credibility of "years of experience". This is where they career block you harder than the worst cock blocking fat chicks in the nightclubs. 

And we wonder why every young guy who moves to US for his masters does so well in life. This is where most Indians bring out the "USA owes everything to Indians" or "Indians are so smart" card.. .#FML.

All this is deeply intertwined with the Hinduism philosophy and religion which is dominant in India, which is a good 80% of the population. You always see grown Indian men(mostly belonging to hindu families) completely ruin their life by making huge decisions like marriage, finance and career as per their elders, and this mostly under emotional pressure and a lot of times threats of violence.

But in a world where a (once?) technology star like Yahoo gets pwned to the tune of 500 million accounts, Indian businesses must really ask themselves if a sixty year old once upon a time MBA grad can better protect their network than a 30 year old CISSP holder just by the virtue of being old and wise.

I am seeing one situation where the IT-Head was hired later, his sal is in the 5lacs/pm range and all and he has no fucking IT qualifications at all, what he probably has though is some business acumen about the industry which I bet a few videos and certifications cover already, I don’t get it why he still has that job. 

The culture of mediocrity, nepotism is not just in the Indian government, it's in the Indian psyche.

Social Media — This Civilization's Pulse

Social media is a nice window into people’s heads now. And by extension inside the current culture. Then there’s phenomena like selfies and just when I thought it can’t get any fucking worse the following kind came up;

So you’re sitting there at the restaurant table with minimum two other people, going over the menu to order drinks and you take out your phone and do this. It’s so much more depressing when I go ahead breaking down the steps you took. .fuck, let’s get it out of the way:

1. The thought pops in your head that you should share. this. to. facebook. cringessst moment?
2. You take out the phone and go to the app.
3. Type out the place's name, select it from the dropdown then choose the correct location.
4. Tag all those with you, for which you again have to type.
5. You have to use a touch screen for all the typing.

Damn, why? How come you’re not sharing a memory from your childhood or discussing Elon musk with those present with you? There are two other human beings sitting with you doesn’t that mean anything now? The more I think about step 1 here, the most I seem to lose faith in humanity and the fact that it just doesn’t pass but you have to follow it through till step 5, fuck that 2-5 is work to me. What is the motivation?

. . if you’re doing this when you are just with one person, there’s got to be special place in hell for you.

Moving on SM also gives you a glimpse of how and what people think and believe, something which you would have only found out about a person through a close relationship is now a page refresh away. Not anything exactly bad here though. Just depresses you and makes you realize most people just don't think in the right direction and hence human progress is so slow. I’m not finding a way to put the phenomena in words by itself I think it’s best understood by some examples I have collected.

This tweet for me embodies everything that’s wrong with the world and probably always has been.

I can almost hear her internal monologue when she was typing this out; “huh, writing is a means for change, it’s something so deep and meaningful and should serve a higher purpose and bring about a change in the world and Tim chooses to exchange it for for money, money which he will use to buy shampoo and toilet paper with and meet his bare materialistic needs with. Someone tell him pen is mightier than the sword already. .wtf! ridic!”.

Anything done for money is inherently morally inferior to this breed of people. The hatred I think is not towards the money, it’s the act of making money. The act being work. In such people's mind the idea of work has been associated with a form of slavery for so long now that work has to be form of a sisyphean task, something which the doer grudges and hates and finds no value in but only does it out of necessity to fill his stomach and have clothes on his body.

And writing, writing is not that grudging task which one hates. Writing is one’s deepest expressions put into words and he decides to make it dirty by making money from it!

For centuries now wealth has only gone to two categories of people, the looters and the moochers — the ones who take what they want at gunpoint and the others with tears. Doesn’t help that humanity also had a period of slave owning during which the wealthy got wealthier because they owned the workers, never had to pay them and today people project that on anybody (and on themselves) who gets up in the morning to head to a cubicle as fast as he can just to not displease the boss — the slave and the master.

And so we have a world in which for most people work is drudgery and making money a necessary evil. The two are then reconciled as work = slavery = which no one obviously likes and money = necessary evil to earn which you must go through the motions of work. And if one is using writing to make money then we have the equation where writing = work which is equal to drudgery which the above tweet can’t fathom to accept because writing is suppose to be this rainbow of colors of emotions, feelings and other liberal adjectives, a higher purpose and all the romanticism attached to it. Because the culture believes writing is a born talent and an artist just is but can’t become.

Put these beliefs together and you have the soul of a liberal.

The hovering hand

This pic is proof that feminism has come a long way.

Or I should rather say it has lost its way and is now a bulldozer driven by the most vilest of women and men. They along with their comrades are set to destroy the western civilization, a lot of it if not everything. The champions of women’s rights and empowerment have nothing to say about those who treat women like dogs but are busy deciding who should change the diapers and do the dishes and how men who are trying to teach grown up nerds to fight anxiety and talk to women should be banned from entering countries, and the governments of those countries oblige. Recently they had a problem with men having a casual meet up but they’re look the other way when their partners in victimhood go out raping women in the streets.

Their biggest victory is probably how they seem to have convinced a lot of men and women that women are morally superior and inherently better than man. A very powerful narrative to accomplish this has been how all the wars humanity fought for so long were basically outcomes of male aggression and drive for violence and rapes of course. The wars caused by the ignorance of medieval ages, the poverty of its philosophy and culture was all summed up as “men are just violent, raging, raping monsters”. And today they’re teaching young 9 year old boys how their gender has always been and continues to be a big problem.

They ignore how the male drive fueled by testosterone connected continents by railway lines, sent rockets to space and built the brooklyn bridge. To that they counter that women were simply oppressed and hence couldn’t get much done. Which is an amazing claim when you take into account that even in the last decade women have not made as much impact with all the empowerment in the world and that in the the first world. The culture of keeping women and children safe back home while men fought the barbarians at the city gates, they termed it oppression. The idea of keeping women at home to look after the house and children in a world in which their lower upper body strength would not have added much to the workforce and the technology to do anything more was simply absent they termed patriarchy.

And male sexuality took the biggest hit. The ten times greater amounts of testosterone coursing through our veins which makes us stronger, ambitious, aggressive and competitive also makes us incredibly horny and that became a trademark sign of a rapist. As a result of which, Elon Musk is somehow responsible for a rape committed by some village bum in Uttar Pradesh, India because they both have the same testosterone based drive.

The culmination of all this is the gender which created the human civilization and maintains it, is now forever psychologically crippled with being labelled a violent rapist while he accidentally brushes against a woman’s ass in a crowded bus, a harasser if he dares say “hi” to a cute girl walking by in a mall and an outright desperate creep if he completely places his palm on the small of a woman’s back during waltz and must spend every minute of his life proving otherwise.

The modern motivation

In the early 2000s do you remember ever seeing a guy with a big sign with something like the following walking around andheri station or on the platform? I sure don’t. Wonder what were the spartans doing to let everyone know that they just started climbing mountains as part of their combat training.

I give it to you that this is sort of grey area, I don’t want to make it sound like people are going to the restaurants and pubs just so they can put it up on facebook or that they’re going for those cool treks just for putting it up ( alot of guys go with the hopes of getting a gf too..imagine not get laid but get a gf) . .but jesus fucking christ isn’t that what it looks like?

I remember reading something which said that the chemical release you get in the brain when you tell people about your goals/plans is the same as the one when you actually attain them. And I pretty much believe that’s what fucks politicians up when they’re out there making the promises, then later the chemical release is over and so are the elections so fuck you citizen. 

Oh and this dude totally did not give up drinking I can assure you that. In fact let me take this opportunity to tell you a trick—tell fucking no one about your goals or in fact tell me people the opposite maybe. Bottle up all your dreams and ambitions and plans inside and just fucking don’t talk about it, maybe you could blog about it (i’m not sure about that) but tell no one in your fucking life about them. This way when they talk about their goals the memory of yours will stir but hey you can’t fucking tell them about it and this will remind you how you are just sitting there wasting precious fucking time, it’ll fucking eat you inside and that’s good. And if you can’t do that, you can’t have your goals deep in you and work on them without talking about it then you might as well forget about the whole thing and go watch roadies or IPL.

Greatness by proxy

Enterprises use proxy servers to provide safe and better internet use to its employees. So when you want to get to google, your connection goes to the proxy server, the proxy terminates it and starts its own connection to google and bridges both the connections thus having full control over the traffic in motion.

But let’s say your destination is a little more complex than google. It takes toil, sweat and tears to get there. It takes sacrificing your sleep, social life, your favorite food and everything else you’d rather do and even then you might not get there.

Your destination is greatness.

Well now a lot of people have now found an expressway to get there, they just count themselves in with those who are close.

Supporting your country’s cricket team is all good but my bs detectors are going off when I see how far people have taken that and I’m not sure if it’s just fandom anymore. It’s definitely not patriotism either, a patriot would find a lot more important things to focus his energies on.

My best guess is it’s just a mix of fitting in with the crowd and be excited about what everyone is excited about and of course the yearning to be a part of something big, that same feeling which brought so many to the Anna Hazare anti-corruption rallies.

But since nobody likes to think of themselves as just a two cent attention whore and everybody likes to tell think of themselves as people who don’t care about fitting in and pay lip service to individuality, the real intentions are masked by the culture as fandom and patriotism.

“The Alluring Snap”

What’s with guys thinking that every time a chick posts her pic online, a contest has started and one with the best phrase will be the first one who she opens her legs for. This isn’t Who wants to be a millionaire phone lines dammit.

Scroll up and read the last comment again — “alluring snap”. Seriously when did you say something like that to a chick? That’s like breaking into

“Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

Thou art more lovely and more temperate:

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

And summer's lease hath all too short a date:

Every time you visit the mall, (I know most guys never say anything to a girl in a mall, that’s a different topic).

What gets me tickled is again the process of how he got to that comment, he scanned all the previous comments and saw that “looking good”, “fabulous”, “cute” and other variants thereof were taken, which forced him to push his english language skills to the limit, something he has not done since the last essay he wrote for the english paper not to mention a lot of people by heart their essays in India, I digress. Now as he was doing this, it then slowly became both an ego problem about his english skills “ofcrse i knw gud eng” he thought, “btr than all dese suckrs trying 2 get luky”. And a race to be the chosen one was always on his mind anyway “i’ll blw her mind here nw...thn wil say hi ltr in d chat. .mst buy kondums”.

And the rest as I say is misery.

Making Values Stick

In my field of work I have to type commands like the following to find problems and solve them.

And when I am not doing that I am out there finding more such commands to type in to make it easier to find the problems. I make note of all these commands so that I can find them easily to type them in when I am having problems. So just like countries my work too has it’s peace times and war.

Here’s the thing, no matter how hard I try to learn these commands during the peace times when the time for battle comes I forget how to use my weapons, I forget the damn commands and have to find them from my notes to put them in. And the rule of life being you will never find that which you immediately need, the situation is not a very nice place to be in.

But the commands I find with my blood and sweat and use during the times of battle always be with me during the next battle. There’s something about the panic, fear and the urgency and the sheer suffering in the experience that my mind makes sure the use of those weapons is not forgotten again.

Mind and Body

You must have heard of this mind body dichotomy a lot of times, of course those words have been totally fucked out now just like self-help, spirituality, meditation, travelling . .totally fucked out so bad that using them now makes people roll their eyes.

But this is something to think about, why have humans talked so much about this mind-body thing. Those buddhists guys don’t ever shut up about it and the way they used it and the philosophy they came up with later is probably one of the reasons that word is so fucked out now. I mean give away all your wants and just close your eyes and just sit for the rest of your fucking life—meaning don’t buy a tesla model S? Well fuck you monk.

I want to talk about the mind body dichotomy in terms of pain and learning. Dan Carlin has a good episode on toughness where he plays with the idea of “do tough times make tough people?”. Definitely is my answer. Unfortunately or maybe luckily we are probably not going to have those kind of tough times anymore where Genghis Khan is waiting at your city gates to sack it and then rape, loot, kill you all and then some more. Nor will we have a great depression, maybe some of those fuck ups which keep happening which gives employers a good excuse to clean up I guess but I doubt it’ll be anything really serious like 1928-29. Of course we are facing a little with the stupid muslim fucks who still refuse to shave their facial pubic hair before coming to work and when some of them got a chance to go stay in Germany they did some raping there, the fun part being the gals they raped were the ones who wanted them there, the wimmen cuntpowerment leftist liberal fucks all of them. One of them still didn’t learn though. Those muslim fucks will be taken care of eventually though, not a big existential worry.

And with that we’re all back in the basement with tyler durden. Of course ignore the anti-capitalism and anti-work propaganda.

Making your values stick

Going back to my story of remembering commands only when I’m made to use them in times of pressure—making them stick. I think values could be made to stick as well.

We just need to find a struggle, and till the zombie apocalypse begins(slow zombies hopefully) we have something else to work with or at—the gym.

Say you’re on a program like stronglifts(highly recommended) in which you start of with 20kg squats, that tests your thigh bones but is that it? What about when your thighs are sore and you are having difficulty walking around and your next workout day is here? What about when that weight is up to 60 then 80kgs and you are down on the third rep of the last set, jesus fucking christ fear grips you and you’re not sure whether you can stand up and you’re worried if your thigh bone will break and yet you do it, you finish the rep and then you go down again and do the rest 2 reps and finish you 5 sets. Did that only challenge your thigh muscles? Of course your heart is beating out of your chest at this stage but now you are sure you are thinking if you can do 80kgs then why not 82.5 next time.

You faced your fear of injury, you fought that voice in your head telling you to just put the weight down, it’s just 2 reps after all, your brain played back a memory of how good it feels to not have 80kgs weighing you down on your thighs and wanted you to just stop now. . and you chose to stay with the pain instead.

Don’t you think this daily struggle with yourself under the weights will help you to not give a fuck about tasting the dessert when you are at a party and everyone can’t shut the fuck up about how good the fucking ice cream is. Won’t it help you to choose between the new episode of that TV show and your programming video tutorial. What about living frugally because you are saving up to start your own business and not going out for drinks in an era when sarah just has to tell 800 strangers about how she was with jessica and 4 others at XXX and it was #fun #funn and #funnn.

In between feminists and the internet raising young boys and a culture in which appreciating someone else’s struggle with a few beers on TV in the form of mind numbing spectator sports and subconsciously patting oneself on the back for having the eye to appreciate it, the struggles of our time and hence forth are all but limited and so will be the values.

Appreciation

Rollo Tomassi is big on this in terms of inter-gender dynamics. And that is has hit me hard. Well, that and my job.

For a few days now I am just experiencing what every salaried person on the planet must have felt often and probably something some people live their entire sorry lives with.

I felt the need to be.. . A P P R E C I A T E D. ..yyiiiieeekkss.

Just two days back a colleague of mine got the ax after her occassional fuckups were getting to be regular instead of one in a million. But when you look at her choice of words on why it happened, you could sense how much she wanted to be appreciated i.e. that is when she wasn’t eat your ears about how unjust and conspiratorial the whole deal was.

To cut her some slack, her job was pretty hectic even when it was just basic. She was just a human form of OSTicket. Just had to keep a log of all tech support activities between the tech guys and the client’s tech trouble tickets. The fuck up was she had to do it in a giant 10 column excel sheet and that must have been an awful horrible experience.

But let’s not go all awwwwieee for her. If she had cut down on her facebooking and whatsapping and phone calls with her hubby darling (both just married last month) it was all doable. I mean after all . … .

The interesting part in this is even with all the fuckups she wanted to be appreciated. She wanted to be appreciated for "so much she did" and because she "travelled so far for her work".

And then came my turn.

For someone really big on link i have my fuckups too. I was sent to configure vlans for a client of ours on their 10-15 cisco switches and I fucked the whole thing up and then my boss had to pay an external consultant to come with and get the job done. Now to cut me some slack as well, I was just 4 months into the job and never had much experience with vlans and networking gear being used and so I blew the whole thing in a huge embarrassment.

But let’s not go all awwwwieee for me. If I had cut down facebooking and whatsapping and daydreaming, reading a lot of redpill and living in my fucking head so much it was all doable. I mean after all . … .

I did redeem myself—not by much but i did. I had another vlan project much much smaller and i did well there, not a big deal. And you'd never guess what i felt like afterward. I fucking wanted to be A P P R     . I bloody expected the boss to hug me the next day on what a marvellous job I did and how proud he felt. If not that I at least expected him to bring up my last VLAN fuck up and at least make some small talk with me just to ask me if i finally understand vlans, just some small talk like that, but the ruthless bastard won't even bring it up.

And that's probably why he has a million dollar IT firm with 50+ employees in a country where everybody is just waiting for a fucking festival bonus and tea at work.

You see my configuring the vlans after fucking it up once was nothing to be appreciated, it was nothing for someone else to make me feel good about, although i felt that i did it. Because that was and is my damn job. Isn't it? I absolutely didn't do anything special there at all, and it took some time to get this, now I do. Just like brushing your teeth and showering it's nothing to be praised for, it's the bare minimum you fucking do in society to get by. Imagine everyone giving you compliments and patting you on the back for showering.

And so dear reader, appreciation is a dirty bitch. It's the dessert your parents taught you to crave every night after dinner because "kids love ice cream" and that's because their parents taught them that. It's too much sugar, releases your insulin and is killing you. My simple theory now is appreciation is a game passed on by parents to the kids. Because all parents keep wanting their kids to appreciate the sacrifices they make for them and all and they keep signalling the kid mostly covertly and at times overtly to appreciate their efforts as parents, they end up teaching the kids to crave appreciation for minutest things like brushing their teeth later in life. Hate to tell you, your boss doesn't care.

So the final takeaway is just don't wait for any kind words, gestures of appreciation and pat on the backs, especially not in your professional life because doing your absolute best is just your fucking job. And circling back to the start about appreciation in relationships, I think the same stands true, the truth being no one, not your wife, kids*, gfs are ever going to appreciate you maybe one of you will have someone who will but most of you won't get any of it. Over there it'll be good to have some ground rules and principles of conduct for the people you deal with. And when lines are crossed you do what you must.

* you don’t exactly even want kids you appreciate you till they’re in their 20s, I mean it easily takes that much time to just figure things out. But even after that don’t be sure about anything.