The day for me around 12AM.
That’s where I decide to call it quits for whatever it is i’m doing and going to sleep, trying to follow the wisdom of 8 hr sleep.
But for some reason my mind does not agree with me and starts playing games. One such game is “missing out on”. My mind gets into this listing mode where it wants to do more and accomplish more before going to bed. And obviously it’s already failed because like most mortals I can only do so much in a day.
I think somewhere in the back of my consciousnesss I am sad that I did not finish more of what I had planned to. And like everyone I plan a lot for a day.
Writing, running, watching my IT training videos, working on getting my career certifications and so on.
As the day starts it seems I waste a lot of it in between watching tv shows, on youtube and get very little done. The times we live our amazing but it’s strange that this one thing is become so central to it all. The laptop. I work on it, study on it, write this blog on it. And obviously my brain gives into the temptation to open and watch 1 youtube video or that one scene and the next thing you know it’s been 45mins and eyes so tired that you have go and take a break.
As the day keeps progressing you don’t get time to think of how much time you are wasting in the moment. After all who has ever questioned himself on time management in the middle of a youtube video?
But it is the day’s end when the mind has finally accepted that since it’s late there is no chance to play around but to only start>shut down. It this when suddenly it hits that nothing much was done today because the time was spent somewhere else. It this reckoning which brings sadness and anxiety.
The anxiety then asks questions. Why was that time wasted? What about that new job? Why didn’t you work on that certification instead of spending the time on a tv show? Why didn’t you go out and socialize instead of living through those perfect friendships from tv shows?
What will become of your life?